Future? What future?

I've been spending far too much time with my thoughts lately since I've been unable to work. Fortunately, I go back on Friday! I never thought I'd be exited to work again but DAMN I am broke as a joke.

During these three weeks spent lying on the couch, I've watch a lot of HGTV and Bravo, baked and cooked more than I have in my entire life, and contemplated where I've been and where I'm going. That last one's dangerous to think about for someone living at home, barely scraping by at a job that certainly won't lead to a career. Sometimes I think about my trip and how I probably wouldn't be in this position right now if I had stayed at my god-forsaken job... I would have been promoted by now. But then I would probably be absolutely miserable. I also wouldn't have traveled on my own, experienced the things I did and learned as much about myself as I did. I can't change anything, nor do I really want to.

I really think that for the first time in my life, I really have no clue where I'll be or what I'll be doing even three months from now. As a very strategic planner-type, that scares the bajeezus out of me. Certain people in my life would probably say that's a good place for me to be, that I need to stop planning and start living more. That may be true. Except that makes me feel like a blind-folded tightrope walker... No thanks!